“Walang tatalo sa pagmamahal ng mga magulang”. Ito ang katagang madalas nating naririnig. At marahil ito rin ang dahilan sa likod ng mga tagumpay ng karamihan sa atin. Tulad na lang ng kwento ng bagong graduate na estudyanteng ito mula sa Iriga City.
Kilalanin si Julian Ross Estrella at tunghayan ang kanyang inspiring na storya.
Sa isang Facebook post, ibinahagi ng binata ang kanyang buhay bilang estudyante at kung paano nya kinaya at nagawang maabot ang mataas na parangal sa kabila ng mga pagsubok at hirap ng kanilang pamilya.
PROUD SON OF A MECHANIC
Isang proud na anak ng mekaniko at housewife, nagtapos ang binata sa kursong Psychology at pinarangalan bilang magna cum laude. Ito ay kahit hindi ang naturang degree ang kanyang ‘dream course’ dulot ng kakulangan sa pera.
“My father is a mechanic. My mother is a housewife. Both of them never got the chance to finish their degree, but at this moment, they made it possible for their 4 children to have that chance.” pagsisimula nya.
Lumaki mula sa payak na pamumuhay at may mga magulang na kapwa kapus-palad, maagang namulat sa kahirapan si Julian. Gayunpaman, dahil sila ay salat sa pera at sa mga materyal na bagay, nagbigay daan ito sa nag-aalab na kagustuhan ng binata na makawala sa ganoong estado at maiahon ang pamilya.
Sa murang edad, batid ng lalaki na sa pamamagitan ng kanyang edukasyon ay posibleng matupad ang kanyang hangarin na ito. Subalit hindi sa paraang gusto nya.
THE DREAM COURSE
Malaki ang pagmamahal ni Julian sa sining, kaya naman nais nya sanang i-pursue ang Art School noon sa kanyang pagkokolehiyo. Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, hindi tugma sa kanyang pinapangarap at pinaka inaasam-asam na kurso ang kakayahang pinansyal ng kanilang pamilya.
“That’s why maybe instead of dreaming myself into Art School, I resorted to Psychology.” aniya.
Kinailangan pa umanong ipaliwanag ng maigi sa kanya ng kanyang mga magulang kung bakit ang kurso lang na ‘afford’ nila ang maaari nyang kunin sa pagkokolehiyo.
“I remember being sat at a table and having to be explained everything about why I had to choose something we can afford in college.” pag-alala nya.
“There's a difference between finishing any degree and finishing a specific kind of degree you want for yourself. The first one was the dream of any realistic parents, and the second one was the dream of any fearless 12-year-old dreamer.” dagdag pa ni Julian.
Dahil maaga syang namulat sa kanilang estado ng pamumuhay, naintindihan nya kung bakit sila humantong sa ganoong sitwasyon kung saan kailangan nyang mamili at isantabi ang pangarap para sa mas praktikal na desisyon.
Pagpapatuloy nya, “As the youngest, I have always been burned by the fact that my older brothers and my older sister had to adjust their dreams just for their younger siblings to go to school so no one stops and becomes the sacrificial lamb.”
“As a child being confronted with this reality, my inner artist was grieving. I was struggling. I love art, it has always been my first love. But I realized some talent is never destined to be a career, and I hit that truth–rock bottom. This situation has forced me to think of it this way–every time my parents overexplain our financial situation, about why my supposed dream of College is expensive, they’re making sure that I’m seeing the reality of our household.” kwento ng bagong graduate na estudyante.
Ngunit kahit ganoon, malawak ang naging pang-unawa ng binata sa sitwasyon ng kanilang pamilya, kahit pa ang nakasalalay na ay ang kanyang pinakamamahal na pangarap - bagay na hindi ginawa ng magulang para hadlangan ang gusto ng kanilang pinakamamahal na anak.
“Truth is, my parents never clipped my wings; Instead, they didn’t want to see a child fly so high yet fall so hard on his expectations.” saad ni Julian sa naturang post.
POVERTY CAN NEVER STOP A DREAMER
Pero hindi natatapos doon ang kanyang pangarap. Malaki ang paniniwala ng binata na hindi kayang tuldukan ng pagiging hikahos sa buhay ang mataas na pangarap at nag-uumapaw na pagpupursige sa puso ng mga taong tulad nya.
Kaya naman noong sya ay makatungtong na sa kolehiyo, walang sinayang na oportunidad si Julian.
Payo nya sa mga estudyante na kapwa pinagdaraanan ang mga pagkakataon na katulad ng mga dinanas nya, huwag nilang hayaang pigilan ng pagiging mahirap ang kanilang malalaking ambisyon at hangarin sa buhay.
“If you are out there struggling financially, please don't let that diminish the vastness of your dreams and ambitions. They are the only thing that doesn't have taxes these days. Let it define your hard work. Let it define your character.” pagdidiinan ni Julian.
“Although I wasn't able to pursue my dream course, my light didn't dim, nor have I been bewitched by my fate.” pagmamalaki ng binata.
THE DREAM HAS EVOLVED
Hindi man pinalad si Julian na ituloy ang art school na syang first love nya, hindi ito naging dahilan para hindi sya magpatuloy sa buhay. At lalo’t higit, hindi ito naging dahilan para hindi sya maging magaling sa klase sa kanyang kursong kinuha.
“I started to redefine the concept of dreaming–It is not just wishful thinking every kid has for themselves.” ika nya.
Mulat sa katotohanan, aminado ang binata na ang ibang leksyon sa buhay ay mas natututunan sa pagkabigo kumpara ng sa pagkapanalo.
“But some learnings in life confront you better when you fail than it is when you Win” ani Julian.
“I was a supposed Art student but the financial demand is hard to meet. Went on and tried Civil engineering, but I did not pass. I only have had a few choices because when you are poor you don't get much of privileges to support those choices. I firmly believe that Psychology wasn't a choice, it was destiny.” dagdag pa nya.
Bigo man makuha ang gustong kurso, naging rason ito kay Julian para mas lalo pang magsumikap at magpursige sa buhay.
“Yes, I was the usual nerd who stayed up all night studying for exams and paid much attention to how can I excel in Psychology. I joined and tried everything in college and hustled up to get some recognition for my hard work. I was competitive. I was the student who will raise his hands three times in a row to make an impression, and I do not apologize for it because my parents were not ashamed to borrow money for my education.” pagkekwento nya.
Proud sa kanyang mga magulang na pawang ginagawa ang lahat masuportahan lang silang apat na magkakapatid, walang pinalagpas at sinayang na oras si Julian para suklian ang hirap at pagod ng kanyang nanay at tatay.
“My mother is out there doing laundry and at the same time preparing meals with her calloused hands, and my father, under the heat fixing someone else's cars with his bruised oiled hands. There was no stability in their work. Hence, there was no room for me to lay back and do the bare minimum given the fact that I was born to this kind of parents. “ aniya.
Araw-araw man madungisan ng grasa at langis ang mga kamay ng kanyang tatay na mekaniko kakakumpuni ng mga sasakyan ng ibang tao, araw-araw man masugatan ang mga kamay ng kanyang nanay sa paglalabada, alam ni Julian na sulit lahat ng hirap nila dahil bilang isa sa kanilang mga anak, ginawa ni Julian ang lahat ng kanyang makakaya bilang estudyante upang maging deserving sya sa lahat ng kanilang mga sakripisyo.
Basahin ang kanyang buong Facebook post:
“GANITO MANGARAP, KAMING MAHIHIRAP”
This is a long read, but I hope you can relate down to finish.
My father is a mechanic. My mother is a housewife. Both of them never got the chance to finish their degree, but at this moment, they made it possible for their 4 children to have that chance.
I, out of 4 was the last child to finish a degree. I often contemplate that as a child of an underprivileged household, my dreams were never just about myself, but of my family–my parents especially. Hence, as a student, every day for four years I carried the dream of the mechanic and the dream of the housewife.
For dreaming is such a beautiful word for a child, I was never inhibited by my parents to dream as long as I can, as long as how my words could end, and as long as I am still young enough to be blinded by our socioeconomic reality.
At 12 years old, there is so much freedom and liberation in having dreams and being able to retell them to your friends, your teachers, and yourself with no limits. Not until you hit the age of consciousness–where expenses have to be made, and bills needed to be paid–” You can dream, but only if you have the means to reach that dream. You can paint a beautiful portrait, but only if you can afford to buy the paint. “
That's why maybe Instead of dreaming myself into Art School, I resorted to Psychology.
I remember being sat at a table and having to be explained everything about why I had to choose something we can afford in college.
There's a difference between finishing any degree and finishing a specific kind of degree you want for yourself. The first one was the dream of any realistic parents, and the second one was the dream of any fearless 12-year-old dreamer.
As the youngest, I have always been burned by the fact that my older brothers and my older sister had to adjust their dreams just for their younger siblings to go to school so no one stops and becomes the sacrificial lamb.
As a child being confronted with this reality, my inner artist was grieving. I was struggling. I love art, it has always been my first love. But I realized some talent is never destined to be a career, and I hit that truth–rock bottom. This situation has forced me to think of it this way–every time my parents overexplain our financial situation, about why my supposed dream of College is expensive, they’re making sure that I’m seeing the reality of our household.
Truth is, my parents never clipped my wings; Instead, they didn’t want to see a child fly so high yet fall so hard on his expectations.
That’s why maybe one of the most celebrated virtue is “contentment”–having to see happiness in what is only provided and appreciating small things. But I have always conflicted with the idea of contentment as a form of passivity, especially because I'm outpouring of passion, and drenched in so many ambitions. I've always believed that being ambitious and being contented can co-exist in the same light. Contentment didn’t stop me from thinking “what ifs.” And pushing myself to at least try at any opportunities that come my way.
Hence, If you are out there struggling financially, please don't let that diminish the vastness of your dreams and ambitions. They are the only thing that doesn't have taxes these days. Let it define your hard work. Let it define your character.
Although I wasn't able to pursue my dream course, my light didn't dim, nor have I been bewitched by my fate.
The day I was confronted with my fading dream, the birth of a new self embodied me. I lost my dream but I gripped myself even more.
I started to redefine the concept of dreaming–It is not just wishful thinking every kid has for themselves. But for a grown adult like me, dreaming is a constant redefinition; A jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces.
So where are the missing pieces?
From your past,
From your family,
From your friends,
From your teachers,
From your exes,
From your failures,
From triumph,
From denials,
From your childhood
From strangers,
From yourself.
Each of these aspects has something to give you a puzzle piece. It is up to you how you place each of them. Do your family and friends take a bigger part? Or do strangers give you more of that pieces?
In the end, it is all up to you to gather that pieces.
I remember my exes being supportive of my dream. And how many times I was made to believe they could be part of it–but we didn’t end up together. It was rough years of heartache and denial but also years of redeeming and knowing the right way to be loved.
So what’s the puzzle piece they have given me? Simple. Self-worth.
I learned that your dreams are only yours to have no matter how many times you forecast them to people who will eventually forget you. Remember that you can reunite with people who left, but your dreams ahead, are the one's worth meeting for.
To make dreams come true, you will be put into a cycle of failures and you will have the toughest time of your life–
getting bruised,
getting sick,
getting unmotivated,
getting heartaches
Getting financially shortened.
But some learnings in life confront you better when you fail than it is when you Win.
I was a supposed Art student but the financial demand is hard to meet. Went on and tried Civil engineering, but I did not pass. I only have had a few choices because when you are poor you don't get much of privileges to support those choices. I firmly believe that Psychology wasn't a choice, it was destiny.
So here it comes Psychology.
I have become more unapologetic given the fact that everything I do, is a result of my past frustrations. Yes, I was the usual nerd who stayed up all night studying for exams and paid much attention to how can I excel in Psychology. I joined and tried everything in college and hustled up to get some recognition for my hard work. I was competitive. I was the student who will raise his hands three times in a row to make an impression, and I do not apologize for it because my parents were not ashamed to borrow money for my education. My mother is out there doing laundry and at the same time preparing meals with her calloused hands, and my father, under the heat fixing someone else's cars with his bruised oiled hands. There was no stability in their work. Hence, there was no room for me to lay back and do the bare minimum given the fact that I was born to this kind of parents.
“Remember you are poor, you need to double your hard work to be seen, heard, and succeed. “The world is unfair for us who don't have financial stability. You will constantly feel defeated and outshined by others only if you compare yourself to them. The only comparison that you should be making is “yourself “ and “the self you badly needed to be.”
My 12-year-old self didn't reach his dream because he deserved so much better at 22.
My puzzle pieces are halfway finished.
As I said, Psychology is my destiny, but to finish it, was a dream.
Julian Ross D. Estrella
MAGNA CUM LAUDE
Son of a Mechanic and Housewife
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